Phoenix

Why choose a mythical bird for my personal resurrection story on Easter? Why not?

My life at one point was so financially a mess I thought I would never get out. I had a low paying job I didn’t like that wasn’t even 40 hours a week. I had a lot of debt and due to pushing too hard, not eating right, and generally not taking care of myself my appendix decided to have a hole in it. The surgery ended up costing 27,000 dollars. Including all the debt I already had I was looking at bankruptcy.

My husband had recently told me “we’re going to church.” At the time, I saw no reason to. I went for him, not for me. Our marriage eventually ended that’s another story of two people who couldn’t make things work.

So at church one Sunday I said ok God, if you’re real, I will devote my life to you if you can do something with the mess I have made of my life. I can’t do it anymore. I am a mess. He listened.

God, BELIEVE ME, is up to ANY challenge. Within 2 weeks I had a 2 dollar an hour increase in pay and 40 hours a week. Within 2 months I got another 1.50 getting into a trade school.

After my divorce I met a man that truly loves me for me not what I can give him.

Oh and the hospital dropped my bill by 75 percent making it payable. I will be debt free in 2 years.

Now for the even better stuff. God has been showing me my flaws. One by one. Gently. He points out to me where I can be better as a human being. What I can do to help others. How I can be whole and stay out of the messes I got myself into.

My life was in a dark hell at one point I was so sick I was laying on my couch with my eyes closed and I saw his light lifting me. I knew it was Jesus. He left a beacon in hell for sinners to find. So we can be resurrected from the ashes and darkness back to the light. Shining brightly again with a fire like the Phoenix.


If you need help there is no better place to turn.   No one loves you like He does.   He loved you first.   He loves you always.

It’s my job

There’s a Jimmy Buffett song with that title. It’s a catchy tune and I truly love the song and it’s premise. Basically it says they are paying me to do this so I must do my best. It is so much more. It is being happy while doing whatever that task is.

Oh sure, there are moments in my life when I struggle to keep a joyful countenance. Yesterday afternoon I was struggling to get anything right and desperately trying to force things to go my way in a job so unsuited for me it is like hitting my head against a tree every day. I stepped back, asked for help, again. Received great advice. Completed the task. A little frustration? My advice? Ask for help.

There are wonderful people in this world that will help you. Swallow that pride superman or woman and get the help you need. Besides you give someone else a chance to shine when you do that. Let someone else be a star to. You will be amazed at how good you feel building others up.

So ask for some help and get back to your smile. If you look around right now you see all kinds of people who said, “there’s a lot of sick people, what can I do to help ” I heard a newscaster say that his mom told him whenever he was scared to look for the helpers. No matter what crisis, you will find them, boots on the ground, sleeves rolled up, in those trenches …… it’s my job attitude.

I hope you smile while you work. Even the most unfulfilling position is worth doing your best. You are helping an organization. You are part of something bigger. Two of the most valuable people in a company in my opinion are the janitor and the receptionist. They present a company to others as much as a sales force. So smile where you are and work towards your goals.

You can be anything, do anything, and choose anything you want for yourself. Just believe. Make the decision to work in that direction and you will find a way.

Why am I here

Why am I here? What is the point of my existence? I suppose this question has crossed the mind of young and old, weak and strong, man and woman for millennia.

We are here to do so many different things. Big things, small things, every single one timed perfectly in the most wonderful choreography ever planned.

You are spirit breathed. That means the very breath of God is in you. A piece of God in your very existence. Your very life is perfectly timed and absolutely special. Whether it’s purpose is saying that one right thing to a random stranger on the subway, helping a fellow student understand, being a friend to someone that needs it, being a mom, brother, father or child.

Think for a moment of all the people who have helped you in your life. Pick your top 3. Those people have made a profound impact on your life. They probably don’t even know it. You have probably had that same impact on others without them knowing it too.

The Brightest Star

I often think about that Diamond inside. Everyone has it. Under all the pressure, laundry, things to do, bills to pay, errands to run, family intricacies, chores, traffic… there it is waiting. Diamonds have patience. They seem to say I will wait for my moment to shine. Come on out Diamond. Let your light be in the world. We need you. Shake off all that dirt and carbon. Let your true light come out and shine. Shine bright like a star. Maybe you are a ruby or an emerald, a sapphire or a beautiful topaz. Whatever you may be shine precious gems with the light breathed into you by creation. Let your love shine with you. Let your children shine.

Shine my Stars

Christmas lights

The wonderful beauty of a botanical garden and the childlike excitement of Christmas lights on a misty evening followed by some hot apple cider just can’t be beat. I have not lost my childhood enthusiasm for Christmas lights. When I see even the smallest display I am that little girl in the back of my parents car staring in wonder at the beauty with sheer joy in my heart and in my face. I hope everyone is able to share that when they see holiday lights. I love that part best. I love everyone of you that decorate. You captivate me with your dance of light every year. I thank you. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Kwanzaa whatever you celebrate may you have a joyful season full of love and family. Hearts full of joy.

Powerful mist

It is hard to match the beauty of the Oregon coast. The mist from this high wave crashed the cheeks 30 feet away. It was a chilly December evening but so beautiful and irresistible. We spent a couple hours enjoying the sunset, waves and Christmas light display at the botanical gardens of Shore Acres State Park. There are many fun events at the gardens in Oregon. I recommend every garden here.

Local Art at the Museum

First Friday at The Albany Regional Museum is always a treat. The museum features artists from Linn county Oregon. It is an opportunity to view local artists and see new exhibits at the museum at the same time.

Our first artist Larry, is an amazing sculpture. His wife makes the costumes for his sculptures. They are intricate and detailed with very expressive faces. The human warmth and quality implies a great deal of understanding about humanity. The characters are so life-like you understand them.

Fishing hole

Any day fishing is a good day. Somehow being near the water just brings you peace. It never seems to matter if you catch a fish or not. Even the frustration of your line drifting back to you doesn’t seem frustrating. Nothing seems to bother you at all. Maybe we should treat everyday like that. Let our cares drift like fishing line and our thoughts be peaceful like a sunny day at the lake.

Stillness of morning

I love the peace and quiet before everyone wakes up in the morning. Sitting drinking coffee in the cool air, watching the sunrise on Sunday morning. The first light brings the gold and red leaves on our oak tree into view. It highlights a beautiful purple red and moss green on a plum tree next to it. The evergreens in the background provide the perfect backdrop with the gray and blue light of this morning. Small birds fly by. I can hear a woodpecker in the distance. It is the perfect quiet space to launch my busy day from.

Browsing Blog Titles

I took a moment to browse some blog titles. I couldn’t help but think what a beautiful mixture of people. What a perfect description of the pleasure and pain that life can be. The triump and struggle. The vibrance and the desolation. So perfect it once again turned my thoughts to the autumn leaves and how the trees put all their toxins in the leaves and shed them to purify the tree. They stand dormant but stronger. Showing us the beauty of letting go. Patience in waiting for spring. The wonder of new growth and new life each spring.